Dick rider: Flip-Flop U Wanna Collab Bro?

This message goes out to all you underground, independent, and unknown rappers and musicians who keep messaging me, asking to collaborate on a song!

Don’t bother asking for a collab or having me featured on one of your songs if you ARE NOT doing any of the following:

1. You ain’t gonna pay me!
2. You’re not producing studio-quality music!
3. You don’t have anything made and expect me to do all the work!

I don’t know what planet you live on—maybe you’re on Planet No Bills to Pay—but I live on Planet Earth, and I’ve got bills! I’m sick and tired of getting messages from people who have the balls to assume I’m gonna work for free just to benefit their music career! WTF is wrong with you?! That’s borderline disrespectful.

Studio time where I live is fucking expensive—at least $100 an hour. If you want me to work on your song, it’s gonna take at least a few hours of studio time to sit there, write my verses, rap on beat, have the sound engineer record and mix my audio, call your ass up during my session to keep you in the loop, and make sure you’re happy with the final result. I ain’t paying for that shit out of pocket, motherfucker! So, either pay me $500 upfront, or it ain’t gonna fucking happen!

I also get messages from people who wanna collab but don’t produce studio-quality music of their own. They think a $10 USB PC mic and free music editing software will make them the next Kanye West! 😂 Look, I get it—your ass is broke and can’t afford studio time. But do what the rest of us do: Get a fucking job, save up, and get in the studio! I’m not lowering my standards just because you don’t care enough to produce professional music.

And then there are people who expect me to do all the work—for free! 🤣 Motherfucker, tone it down on the drugs! If you approach me, everything better be done already. Everything. The only thing I’ll contribute to your song is a couple of verses, and that’s it! And obviously, this goes without saying—I need to love the song we’re working on. If I’m not feeling it, I’m not doing the collab.

And when they finally realize the collab ain’t happening because they’re cheap-ass motherfuckers, they start asking me to share their music on my social media pages. Motherfucker! I ain’t sharing your shit! It’s called FlipFlop The Clown, not Your Shit The Clown! (I rarely share other people’s music.)

Sorry if I sound like a dickhead, but it’s the fucking truth! Where the fuck were you in 2016, when nobody knew who I was?! Why didn’t you ask me to collaborate then? You found me—not the other way around. That just tells you yes, I’m more popular than you, and yes, I have a loyal fan base. I don’t go around asking people to share my music—people share it because they like it! That’s how the internet is supposed to work!

For those of you who don’t fit the description of the dickheads I’ve described and are serious about doing a collab, hit me up. Otherwise, stop trying to ride my dick!